What I’m referring to here is the encounter of the female gender, seeing as most “otakus” are guys (not to be sexist here, but we’re the ones that seem to have the most problems). Also, I’m not saying that all otaku are single, since I know there’s quite a few out there who are married.
I wish...
The idea for the article came up when I decided to pick up Densha Otoko (a Japanese drama), there’s a little story behind that which I’ll address later. All in all, this post has elements drawn from random places, and I won’t deny it doesn’t have anything to do with what I did a few days back. This post is not planned, so let’s see where it goes.
I saw first watched Densha Otoko in grade 10, when a friend of mine (who read ecchi manga like Mahoromatic, I found out two years later what that term meant >_>) dragged me to our high school’s Asian Film Club. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t all that impressed by the content of the show by then, and I didn’t have much of a clue about what was happening (seeing as 2ch functioned slightly differently from what I knew then was a forum). The story is pretty much about a hikikomori (can’t believe I got the spelling right in one try, whoo!) ani-otaku who initially saves a woman from a drunkard, and then works up his courage to go out with her. A large chunk of the show as well as the humour was about how 2ch people (a bunch of Anons from what I see right now, I’m at ep 2).
No...It wasn't this dramatic...not in real life
Now, most know that I’m an otaku, and…well…I think I developed feelings for this girl whom I met in a research lab at the University of Toronto, where we both volunteered at this summer. Well, last week I tried to ask her out. Obviously, the stuff portrayed in the drama is way too dramatic and…well…I’m pretty normal, if that’s the right term to be used. However, what happened was similar, except not as public and not as large scale. I managed to ask her out after my friends (a bunch of Chinese guys from the University of Toronto, my highschool friends will only made crude jokes and/or taunts) encouraged me to call her cellphone (I guess that bit was similar, heh). Making that call felt made me more uncomfortable than waiting for a 7pm exam, and I did my fair bit of stuttering. My friend told me I looked as if I was about to blush to death and told me to chill (followed soon by a cup of red wine during dinner).
What to do though when I’m with her though, Zenical, Robostrike, and to a small degree Mr Optic (he was there when I was confused over what I should do at the start) backed me up on MSN the few days before it happened. It wass pretty funny how Robostrike put it on Twitter, “Waiting for GNDynames’ return reminds me of Densha Otoko and 2ch.”. Well, it could have been better, but by all means did go pretty well. Unfortunately I did get home pretty late, so I didn’t do much more before I went to bed.
I guess stereotype wise, people see us as guys who stay in the house all day, hoarding anime merchandise and straying away from what most call “reality”. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think most people think of us that badly as how we’re portrayed in the media (and if they are, they’re usually full of fail and people hate them more than they hate you. As for the real hardcore ones…may god have mercy on your souls). I’m far from being an expert, but I think the most important thing that happened here was the support I got from the folks (and Zenical being a girl really helped, haha). I guess whatever happens, you can always rely on your friends to watch your back. You guys were great, thanks!
About what happened, I found out that the girl has a lifestyle that’s just as busy as me (so there is a mutual understanding about how having time for hobbies or social activities). As a result of her being involved in frosh week at U of T, I won’t be seeing her again until Christmas break T_T. Anyway, We had dinner and caught two movies that night (I paid for the movies and she insisted on paying for dinner). Unlike I, who likes anime (she knows what I do by the way), she indulges herself in asian drama when not busy. That’s part of the reason why I decided to watch Densha Otoko (I kind of regret beginning with that one though).
Unfortunately I couldn’t muster the courage to ask her if she already has a boyfriend let alone telling her how I felt. I also don’t know how she would feel if she reads this article.
I won’t be saying more, ask me on MSN if you’re really interested, I won’t gurantee that I’ll answer everything.
This is really turning into what happened in Densha Otoko >_< Anyway, thank you for reading this rather pathetic post.
I can’t believe this ended up being over 800 words long…Wow…
One more thing. Here’s a clip of the part with the first phone call.
Filed under: Otaku, life | Tagged: densha otoko, life, Otaku
I watched that drama too.. that guy made me lol.. you can ask me on msn for other asian drama recommendations, I don’t mind sharing =P. Well just to let you know, I don’t feel that otakus are guys who stay in the home the whole day -_-, maybe those hardcore ones, yes may god bless their souls too XD. They only see 2D girls and nothing else!! Which really is irritating.. to a certain extent -_-.. If you need anymore tips… I’ll be sure to give you some.. though my “tips” might be a little different, considering that I am a girl who ish into figurines and stuff(I’m not a normal girl sadly XD, but I still indulge myself in my personal activities!!)
Lol. Well remember my tip to you on msn, do keep “talking” to her, by whatever means…. Christmas is…. far!!!!!
There is nothing pathetic about this post. It’s an area full of opinions, but do take it in a positive sense that we, or I at least, would like you to prosper with your GF. The feelings of losing a GF is just as discouraging as failing a term. Therefore, I’d wish you best of success to truly win her heart.
I’ll be on MSN if you need company until you see her again ^_^ Well, when you’re not busy from school work that is…
If it helps any, I wrote loads more than this in self-reflections when I first started dating. Throughout the entire time, actually. ^^;
Dating is…risky. It’s a rollercoaster ride, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you’d find your emotions switch from top-of-the-world to borderline-depression and back again. xP I’m still of the opinion that those top-of-the-world moments are worth it though. Call me a closet romantic (or someone who just reads too much shoujo manga – yes, I do it often, have a problem? XD)
tried to comment but my net failed or something orz.
Yeah, well all the best, I’m sure you’ll do well..!! because we’re all backing you up XD.
Ah… the magic of youth romance… I remember when I was in that situation. In retrospect, my advice to you is that you’re doing a great job. You’re respecting her boundaries, and trying to understand her more.
You don’t have to ask her if she’s got a boyfriend or not. The answer is pretty obvious – she doesn’t.
If she did, she wouldn’t have time to hang out with you, and she wouldn’t be watching dramas in her spare time.
Her knowing your hobbies and interests shows she has an open-minded personality. (unless she suddenly refuses to associate with you anymore. Then that means she’s not as open-minded as you thought).
Do not confess your feelings to her. (that’s so Japanese anime) Actually, you don’t have to say anything. Actions speak louder than words. Just be yourself, and let things happen naturally. That’s the best way.
If she knows you’re thinking about her, if you two have fun when you’re together, then it will all happen naturally.
Wish you luck! (feel free to add me to msn!)
bloody hell man, just go for it.
I’m more concerned about the fact that the blog post is about a detail of your personal life than the actual details right now.
It’s pretty brave to post something like this out in public but since you have a mutual respect for eachothers hobby, she obviously doesn’t find you repulsive in any way and you don’t really have anything to lose, why not just ride it out?
Just be careful if you want to go further, to avoid “the friend zone”. Yes, it actually exists!!!
Watch out who’s advice you take. It may work for some, but it may not work for you.
Friend zones are okay to be in, but only for the purpose of advancing it to the next level. Stay in it too long, and you end up stuck there forever.
Just treat her as more than you would treat a friend at all times, and you’ll be in the perfect zone – comfortable to be around, but not so comfortable that you’re in the friend zone.
Well, in case she reads this post before Christmas break, she might give you an answer instead before you even properly ask her.
While I find this approach is somewhat different than many I’ve heard, it might be easier now where u don’t need to ask her and ur expecting an answer soon?
I’m not embarrassed to admit it but I love being single whether I’m an otaku or not. Not to say I love myself but the freedom and enjoying life is just wonderful. Sure it does has it downsides and dating has it’s downsides as well. Not to say I’m ready but more like not interested atm.
Thanks for all the comments guys, I really appreciate your help and concerns.
@Zenical: Your comments were filtered by Akismet for some reason.
@Optic: I didn’t intend on telling her how I feel through this, I merely wondered what would happen on the chance that she does read this.
If she does read this, then her reaction and subsequent actions following it would strongly depend on her personality, and also whether she feels the same about you.
If she isn’t into you, she’ll either tell you straight, or start avoiding you like the plague, or somewhere in between.
If she is into you, she’ll either tell you that she read your blog, or she’ll become very shy about it and treat it as if nothing happened. In that case, she’s waiting for your next move. Don’t get the wrong idea! It’s only if she’s read your blog entry!!
@Radiant: I’m more scared of the latter part of the second paragraph/sentence than anything else.
LOL, dramas are always over exaggerating every aspect of life, and that’s why they’re dramas. Most of the stuff that happens in dramas doesn’t apply in real life, so you don’t have to worry about it. It’s all for a good laugh, at least that’s how I see it.
Hmm…Asian dramas. Which one? Canto, Japanese, or Korean?
Well, you’ve certainly got me interested in Densha Otoko now. I think it’s great that you wrote this post, and I don’t find it pathetic in any way. Definitely don’t lose contact with her, communication is key in relationships, it’s what holds them together (that goes for normal friendship relationships as well). I wish you the best of luck and hope everything goes well with her!
Im seriously interested in Densha Otoko now… ^^
These are the moments where I wish Id be more often online in MSN.Not that I could have given you any good advise or anything.Only thing I can say is that youve got some courage!
Its good that she knows your “true nature” beforehand.It would be pretty awkward the other way around.
Anyways I hope youll succeed buddy!
@Tommy: That’s why we watch them right? Asian dramas include all of the above as well as Chinese (mandarin) and Taiwanese.
@Persocom-san: I’ll try, we both live busy lives and barely have time for ourselves (much less eachother, if she even feels that way towards me).
@Blowfish: Thanks!
Nah, I don’t watch them anymore. I got tired of the repetitive materials they used over and over. Though I will watch it if it’s a “break through” series. That’s probably the main reason I turned to anime…
Good luck with everything.