Fate/Hollow Ataraxia Scene 5

I’m back yet again with a partially completed scene. This time, Caren Ortensia makes her appearance and speaks with not directly with Shiro, but someone else. Probably spoiler but it’d be hell to explain the thing, on top of that you’d probably notice the difference in tone of speech anyway.

As with the other scenes, this one isn’t editted, and will probably sport a lot more errors than most due to the numerous metaphors and poetic phrases in Chinese.

It’s finally complete

Caren I

Time: October 8th

Location: Fuyuki Church

Character: Caren

Scene 1: The Plaza:

The area is empty. No is visiting the house of god, it stands there alone.

Not known to others, this place is somewhere where one can purge their sins to the boundaries of the sky.  (this part needs editting)

There is an unfamiliar woman waiting for me inside. Is this the beginning or the end, this type of question has no meaning here.

The woman initially did not exist. Just like him, who used to be everywhere, and nowhere.

There is no sequence in time here.

The reason I came here…the reason is…

My heart is piled with things I want to ask and clarify. Right now, I know nothing about the person whom I am going to meet. I only know her name, and the tense atmosphere.

Caren

Thinking of her reminds me of her slender body, and a delicate voice like that of a glassworker’s tool.

Scene 2: The Church

…I push the door open.

I can only see a field of whiteness due to the sunlight piercing my eyes through the ceiling windows.

An empty Church inhabitted by no one.

Just at that instant

There is a lovely priestess playing the organ.

Shiro: “…”

Does she not notice my arrival? Her performing fingers show no signs of nervousness.

The woman did not get up to greet the guest, but dutifully performing her task.

…I feel…a bit dizzy…

Is it because of the ceiling windows? The organ’s music echos several times throughout the entire church.

Shiro: “…”

I suddenly changed my mind as I was about to approach the organ.

I sit down in a seat in the rearmost row.

The performance should be over soon.

If it’s not one of those performance that lasts for hours, just waiting for the finale isn’t bad.

My thoughts became weak from the boring music.

It’s so peaceful it’s making me sleepy. I let my thoughts wander according to the woman’s notes as sit there dozing off.

As I always hear these kinds of first-rated music, there’s nothing to particularize

There’s nothing special about her fingering, and not expressing the feelings and emotions of the performer

She just plays on…As if like a daily chore.

This is…As if she is praying.

Shiro: “…”

So the spirits of those who come to worship has been shaken by this kind of atmosphere and scenary.

The church is built by the hands of those who rely on it

The music is composed by the hands of those who rely on it

The people of the past must have placed great effort into performing something that gives off a divine sentation.

To believe, and make others believe, people have tirelessly created this extraordinary space.

With the foundation of fantasy, to provide the crystallization of prayer for tranquility and forgiveness.

From that point of view, this place could be said as a boundary field of god. Even the children who does not believe in him should still feel the divine atmosphere.

Sadly, I feel nothing holy about in place.

Occupying my mind is only a scene of desolace. I can only think of a barren wasteland.

Shiro: “Ah, I feel sick.”

Just like that, I sit there with my hands supporting my chin, dizilly enjoying the beautiful music.

…God and desolace…ah…

Honestly, whichever it is, they’re both hollow things.

The annoying performance is over.

The woman got up from her seat, and the organ disappeared from the room.

…That’s right. This church never did have such an exquisite organ like that.

It’s probably something unusual that the woman carries around with her.

Between this and the incident with the disappearing groceries during my shopping trip, she’d be a good adversary against the elusive Caster.

The woman was not at all surprised at my presense. She walks over slowly.

I thought she wasn’t aware of he, looks like she noticed all along.

Caren: “Welcome, Emiya Shiro. Although you only see a delapidated room, I will do my best to welcome you. At a time like this…right. If you’re thirsty, how about some refreshments?”

Shiro: “No, thank you. I did not come here for tea.”

Caren: “…Is that so…I do not know any other forms of welcome methods. You must speak out if you need anything.”

Her actions are a little damaging to one’s feelings.

Saying welcome…Is it her first time greeting a guest?

Caren: “Then we’ll start by asking eachother questions. I already know that you are the Master of Saber, so I do not need you to speak about yourself. What about you? Shall I tell you my name?”

Shiro: “No, that’s fine. I already know your name. All I want to do is to ask my questions and leave, it’s all right if you don’t do a self introduction.”

A clean answer. There’s nothing to be surprised about, two people’s conversations have connected.

Shiro: “Then…May I start?”

Caren: “…Uhm…If you have questions please just go ahead and ask. I don’t have any questions for you…No, I have one question, but it’s not important.”

Shiro: “Is that so…Then I’ll get rid of my questions. Too many things are piling in my heart.”

There are three things I intend to ask, I start with the first.

Shiro: “So, my first question. You said you’re name is Caren. Which religion do you serve under? Where did you come from, and why did you come to Fuyuki. If you said you’re here for sight-seeing, this kind of lie won’t get through me.”

Caren: “I’m the new manager of this church. Originally, my records alone would not allow me to manage an entire church group, only through some limitations was the church put under my care. To you magi, I am the executor from the church, is that clear?” (I think Executor is the right term here. It’s a specific term in the Type-Moon universe and the Chinese translates it as 代行着, apparently Ciel is one as well, and with Shiro’s reaction, I’ll go with it until I discover what the actual term is)

Shiro: “Executor, is that the church’s army? Executioners who condemn magi and heretics as enemies and kill them?”

Caren: “No, only an Executor in the surface. I do not yet possess the abilities of an Executor. It seems this church’s previous manager is an excellent Executor. However, I do not have the authority to execute heretics, nor do I possess the ability. I am merely acting on my orders, coming to this city to observe as my internship.”

Shiro: “Internship eh? What, letting you become the Executor here as your internship, is the church really that short on people? …Whatever the case may be they should at least select a suitable person. According to you, anyone could do this work!?”

Caren: “That’s just the right amount for the right person. I am indeed just an ordinary priestess, but I was sent here because it’s the right duty for me. The assignment the church gave me is to investigate the reappearance of the Holy Grail. To investigate whether the Holy Grail that was destroyed in the fifth Heaven’s Feel was corporeal, immaterial and various other problems. Not everyone can accomplish this.”

Shiro: “Ok…So as a co-op student at least some potential, is what you’re saying right? I understand, so now can you relax your hands?”

Caren: “Even though your tone is hurtful to the feeling of others, but having rid of your doubts over this issue is a good thing. Nevermind, I’ll spare you this time.”

Bam! Caren loosened her hands and took one step back.

It gave me a start.

That woman, with no expression, with no signs of a challenge steps right in front of me, using her hands on both sides and squeezing my face.

If she continues, it’ll probably get squished flat.

Shiro: “The new Grail…nevermind, the church will take care of these things, so I won’t ask about it. The question is the task assigned to you. Seeing as you are here, that means there is solid evidence of the Grail’s reappearance, right? So…The Grail, did you find it?”

Caren: “I can tell you that something like the Grail is around, but I can’t say for sure. My task is only to investigate. I’d be crossing the boundary of my assignment if I delve any deeper.”

Shiro: “Umm…that means you have no intention of obtaining the Grail and taking it with you, is that what you mean? Hmm…wait. If it’s to only investigate its existance, hasn’t your purpose already been met?”

Caren: “I have fulfilled the mission that I was sent here for. But technically, I was sent here as a Executor. Seeing as there is a situation in Fuyuki, it must be solved.”

Shiro： “It’s ironic isn’t it…Without the intention of keeping the grail, you want to investigate the problems caused by it?”

Caren: “It hasn’t developed into that state yet. For the record, the reason is only because these two events are occuring at the same time. Investigating the Grail, and being the spiritual guide of the city. Both these two tasks must be completed.”

Shiro: “Ah, so you’re saying it’s not by your choice that you’re doing this. So then you found me, right? Impressive, task management skills and efficiency are both very high, much better than pretending to be righteous…So…Where is the Holy Grail? Do you know of it’s location?”

Caren: “I can tell from your tone that you are malevolent, so I won’t tell you.”

Then she turns around, facing me with her back. Looks like someone is annoyed by me.

Shiro: “…It doesn’t matter. Then my second question. What is with that monster? The newly appeared Grail and the state of the city have something to do with those monsters right?”

Caren: “…That I can not tell you, for I have made a promise. As well, if I did tell you, it would damage your pride and principle.”

Pride and principle, things aren’t that serious yet. Of course, you are already ridding of your pride when you ask others. To achieve a full mark, cheating is viable.

Caren: “It doesn’t seem like you’re please, are you planning to use violence to obtain the answer?”

Shiro: “I already told you, I have no interest in you. Just becasue you said stuff about violence, didn’t you…”

Using impulse or hatred as motives to obtain my answers, isn’t that an insult to you?

Shiro: “Nevermind, I won’t trouble you further. But what in the world is that thing, didn’t a monster come out from your body or something?”

Even though I don’t know for sure, but it should be something like that.

…Think, nothing about this person is normal.

Even though she’s not scared of them, she gets hurt for no apparent reason, and at the end releases a monster.

She’s more like a magician rather than a magus.

Caren: “You are mistaken, Emiya Shiro. Have you ever heard of the term ‘possession’”?

Shiro: “Possession?”

I’ve heard of it. It’s some kind of folk tale that’s wide spread in the western world. In Japan it would be something like a fox or dog deity or something inhuman that enters a human’s body and start corroding the host from the inside. It’s something akin to a curse.

The symptoms are too numerous to describe. But in the western world, those that invade your body are usually called demons. With unknown and irrational reasons, demons tend to possess people who are good. While in Japan, those the victims are chosen based on the idea of “cursing one self”, while the western “curse” has no principle, as random as traffic accidents.

People who get possessed are usually regular kind folks, the possessed usually will have some mental disorders, curses virtues and god’s teaching, and is a threat to everyone nearby. People are generally not afraid of the direct effect, but are afraid of knowing that they become monsters if they lose their rationality.

But, those are only the initial symptoms.

Those who have been afflicted for a while won’t be corrupted on the mental level alone.

Those in the more serious state will have their physical features altered as well, because those inside the human body will taste the human shape and then try to materialize their own form.

The transformation will originate from the body’s primary functions, and will not stop until the part of the body has changed completely. These changes are determined by the importance of the human “parts”. If the demon is strong, the change will probably result in something drastically different from a human.

Of course, the good thing is that those who are reliant on humans will not appear again, as they force their transformation, they will be killed on the spot.

Most of the western depicted demons all look weird and unnatural. Two heads, hooves, a six sided star could be traced if the limbs are added. The effect can not be duplicated by humans who only have one pair of hands and feet.

Shiro: “…”

However, even though it is rare, there are those who can resist the transformation. Just like how magi who crave knowdge descent into Dead Apostles. There’s probably some heresy, as their own spirits are being consumed, they will cling onto something in order to survive.

So…That woman…

Caren: “You’ve mistaken again. It’s probably irrelevant to the question, but my job is to provide assistance to the Exorcists who exterminate demons. I am not possessed, what happened earlier was not a result of possession. A demon looking to possess requires a complete and healthy body. My body will not allow them to grow.”

Shiro: “Then why did you talk about that stuff about being possessed? … If you said you were indeed possessed, I could imagine why you were like that earlier.”

Caren: “…Porca miseria.” (a curse word in Italian, roughly equivalent to “damn” or “damn it”)

Shiro: “It sounds like you just said something inappropriate.”

Caren: “I meant…you’re really impatient. The bulk of the info comes later on, so sit tight and listen…”

“Being possessed will produce many supernatural effects. Things like the sound of splashing water, much like the the presence of poltergeists, occurs when the body of the possessed is being breached. That is to say it’s something that only occurs when one has been infected. Much like a virus, they will not announce their presence.”

Shiro: “Of course, if demonic possession gets spread like the cold or flu, I doubt there’d be many normal people left.”

Caren: “Right, and just like some people with strong senses that can detect the presense of magic, there are those who will have unnatural reactions happenning to themselves if they get close to one who is possessed…To be honest, that’s me. Whenever I get near something that is possessed by an evil spirit, my own body will produce symptoms of spiritual alignment. My teacher said it’s the constitution of a tortured soul (I had to take the literal translation, the term here is 灵虐)”

Very crisp. Something that will make one despair at the slightest thought was said crisply by Caren.

Shiro: “What? So to put it bluntly, you will turn into a demon if you get near a demon?”

Caren: “Although an idiotic answer, but let’s say it’s correct. To be exact, its supernatural reactions that are a result of automatic magical detection.”

“Lets say you got the cold. During the early stages your body feels slightly heavy…Now, say if you get near me, the symptoms that are caused by that disease would appear on me as well. So to say, the number of patient increased to two.”

“…It seems like I’ve brought a fairly large threat to you, but it’s not something that is meant to be a harm to humans. So pleae don’t worry about it.”

Shiro: “Even with ‘please don’t worry about it’ it’s still…nevermind…Even though that wasn’t something I intended to ask, you were telling the truth right? I always feel…kind of scary at the thought of causing you pain due to your body whenever I come close to you.”

Caren: “You’re right…Either way I’m still slowly being possessed. I guess I’m affected whenever monsters are nearby, so don’t even mention it if it’s Emiya Shiro. If you’re scared, just stay away from me when monsters come.”

Even though there’s no way of understanding and no way of knowing, I’ll take your suggestion.

Ok, so if it’s nothing serious, let’s not get near her, or touch her.

Randomly hurting eachother is not a good thing.

Shiro: “Then…at that time…”

Caren: “I’m afraid it’s probably caused by the appearance of that monster. Even though they’re of low ranks, but it seems it is connected with demons.”

That is to say, if monsters don’t get near her, she won’t have those strange symptoms?

…If so, then the effect of those monsters caused is “to create the same monster” right?

Caren: “We’ll stop here about my constitution for now. How about we continue with your questions?”

Shiro: “Ahhh…ok, then the third and final question. I want to ask you about the state of the city. Even though I don’t know the reason, but the Holy Grail has reappeared. Around some guy, the Heaven’s Feel has started again…It’s what we figured at least. However, there’s something unusual about this one, even though we don’t know what. Tosaka said it’s not a return but a reappearance, as if…as if…as if there’s a master who wants the Grail, and is continuing this neverending war. What is going on?”

Caren: “Because she wants the continue this war. Continuing the already concluded fifth Grail war. The city’s state is all caused by that. What’s unusual is extremely strange. The city on a whole is not right. This whole thing is due to someone’s desire, causing the artificial four day loop.”

The woman of the church who has come to investigate says it’s all because of someone’s wish. That is to say, has the Grail been used?

Shiro: “So then, are you saying that everything is fake?”

Suddenly, a though of wanting to die.

Everything is fake.

As I said that, I felt as if I was on my death bed.

As if all the heat from the universe has dissipated.

Caren: “No, what’s fake is only one person. Even if impossible events were to occur in these four days, as long all the characters are present, it would occur in reality. Even though the “reappeared war” is a mistake, what it has caused is not an illusion.”

“These days are real. Your days, even after these four days time will still continue. Emiya Shiro has lost nothing.”

Shiro: “…”

Who would be relieved to hear such things?

For the most part it’s not me.

But it isn’t wrong, most of what the woman said aren’t lies, they’re definitely true.

The desire to die has suddenly been replaced by life.

Shiro: “Is that so, that’s great. So if this state continues, then all there is to do is to get rid of these four days. So then, you don’t have any connections with the reappeared battle right?”

Caren: “I hereby swear to the lord. Even though things are distorted, but my aim and yours is the same. The investigation of the Holy Grail, and Fuyuki city’s tranquility. To complete these two tasks, I will cooperate with you. Of course, cooperation only means providing you with some info. I am not one to change destiny in this world. The only one who can solve the problem is you, who have participated in the fifth Heaven’s Feel.”

Shiro: “Why? Oh, yea…I know you’re not directly involved. I also understand that ending the war involves those who have participated. But why is everyone pointing at me? Tosaka, or Sakura, as Masters, they could succeed as well.”

Caren: “This battle is a reappearance of the fifth Grail War. The last victor is you. So from that point, the one to dominate the battlefield should still be you. Only Emiya Shiro can end the fifth Heaven’s Feel.”

“Listen, if you want to stop this “reappearance”, you need to make the one who made the wish give up the Grail, so to say, like last time, you, who emerged victorious, must defeat that person.”

Shiro: “…It feels like a word game. That is to say, the fifth war has reapepared, and it must end the same like the fifth war, with me achieving the final victory?”

Caren: “Mmm…This is the Grail and the Grail War. Top rank magic is theory and the battle of theories. It’s not about who’s stronger, its about who has the ability to manipulate rules to gail the upper hand.”

“…As for me, I don’t have the power to break rules of the war. Being a mediator is already quite taxing for me. Even if I want to join, I’d be stopped by the written rules.”

Mmm hmm…That means…there’s a feeling of where to draw the line.

Shiro: “I understand, and I thank you. At least now I understand what I should do.”

I get up from the seat.

I’ve asked enough for now, it’s getting late, I should return.

Caren: “Leaving? There must be something else you want to ask.”

Shiro: ‘I do, but it’s not like you don’t know already. Such as where is the person who made the wish, and how to defeat the monsters. I’ll find the answer to those questions myself. At least I can obtain the answers when the culprit is found. I won’t have any reasons to return to the church.”

I make a hand gesture as I head out.

To me, this chruch has always gave me a headache.

I don’t want to stay for too long. To be honest, I don’t want to associate with that Caren woman, I just want to get out of here quickly.

Caren: “Wait, there’s just one question I’d like to ask. I’ve answered all of yours, so please answer my question.”

Shiro: “Hmm?”

It feels like my innards have melted when she asked like so.

Shiro: “Then, please try to make it easy to understand.”

Hmm? Why isn’t she talking?

Shiro: “Oi, didn’t you want to ask me something? Please go ahead.”

Caren: “…Really, you’re so much ruder today than you were the last few times.”

Shiro: “What?”

My mind just froze

Can it be…what she wanted to ask?

Shiro: “The last few times…meaning when?”

Caren: “The first time we met eachother. On the hill in the park, you were much more of a gentleman.”

It’s not a question at all, she’s only unsatisfied.

…Not only is there no way of capturing her feelings, her mentality is also hard to understand.

Shiro: “I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, That’s right, it’s the location, the location’s problem. If it were outside of the church, things would have turned out better.”

Caren: “Is that so…I must remain here during the day. To meet during the night can only occur near the end of the four days, it looks like our connection can only remain like so.”

Shiro: “Oh, don’t worry about it. Either way, I won’t be coming back here.”

This time I’m really leaving the church

…Really, I always get halted at a time like this

The gate closes

“…”

Ah, I already said I didn’t want to associate with her.

I didn’t ask her for anything, and she’s praying for me.

So…according to her, I’d for sure run into misfortunes?